This has nothing to do with The Borg from Star Trek, and their robotic message – “Resistance is Futile, you will be assimilated in our collective”

My reference is to all of us immigrants who have uprooted our lives from our place of birth – and moved to our new homeland, for a better future. For some time, as we make the transition, we struggle with our identity and the feeling of ‘not belonging’ in our new home. We have a reference of how things should be, and have to reconcile with the new normal. Often, we make the move alone, or with our partners…. Soon this becomes a family unit with children who are born in our new home country. With the passage of time, the old and new normal merge and we are firmly rooted into our new home country. This is how the process of assimilation begins, and the first-generation drive this to completion, as their social evolution progresses.

A general meaning of assimilation is “the process of understanding/absorbing something (could be applied to multiple cases) completely”. In our discussion, I am referencing Cultural Assimilation. Wikipedia defines this as – “the process whereby a minority group gradually adapts to the customs and attitudes of the prevailing culture and customs”. My question is – How do you view the need to assimilate? Is it good or bad? Most people are not polarized in their positons and are somewhere between the two ends. My belief is that we need to assimilate to some degree – based on individual comfort levels. I am looking at this a bit differently. There is cultural assimilation and there is social assimilation. What is the difference between the two? I have always viewed assimilation to mean ‘social assimilation’ and not ‘cultural assimilation’.

Culture – implies those aspects of you, which you bring with you, from your homeland. This would include, among others – language, belief systems, upbringing, food, dress, social norms, etc.

Society – includes mainly social norms, language, food, dress and several “external factors” which are adopted as social structures evolve.

We need to fully assimilate into the societies we move into, and ensure that although we are different, we are still, all equal and the same. The most important one (that many folks choose to disregard) is language. I have found in my travels, that whenever I have prepared even ‘basic phrases’ in a foreign language – the everyday person (in the visiting country) is thrilled that I can communicate. You are embraced as a ‘one-of-them’ and not a stranger. This is the first and basic step in social assimilation. All life forms communicate, and we know that humans love to talk. Folks who have decided to make their new homeland their future home, and refuse to make this effort – will always feel like strangers and different.

Food and dress have been the next in line for assimilation, 50-75 years ago – probably to make everyone compliant. Today due to social media, presence of the ‘world cultures’ in every major city of the world – we have become much more accepting and even appreciating the differences in these areas. Of course, in several cases, belief systems may require one to maintain specific food habits (vegetarian, etc.) and dress codes (veils and hijab, etc) – and we should feel free to do so. Important point I want to make, is that you can retain most of your culture (from your homeland) and still assimilate socially in your personal and professional lives. It is not a case of all or nothing. You get to decide and make the choices.

Often times, assimilation is viewed as – you give up all that identified you before, and completely change and adopt all aspects of the culture surrounding you. This where I have my other difference between the ‘over-used’ melting pot analogy.

What happens in a melting pot? The objective is to melt everything you place inside, to a point where they cease to exist and you have a new entity, with a total loss of the original individual identities.

I would like to see the metaphor changed to a soup pot….. why? For one reason, it reminds me of what my mother made, as our comfort food. Look carefully inside the soup pot as it is cooking away on the stove. There are multiple bright different colors of vegetables, (and other edible content) floating around, in a wonderful broth. There is a flavorful aroma, as you take in a deep breath watching it cook. Yet… compared to the bland, impersonal melting pot, the soup pot is a collection of distinctively different entities/identities in harmony. They have not lost their originality and have yet assimilated enough to result in a wonderful bowl of soup, which warms your heart.

You can have your cake and eat it too! Retain your cultural identity and at the same time assimilate fully into your new social environment. Your new home, will now truly feel like the home you came from.