I despair at the kind of world we are leaving behind for our kids and the following generations to come. I grew up in the early 50’s, when I am sure things were not all rosy. As time has passed, technology has evolved and society has devolved. The gaps between different strata of society has increased, with a sliver of the population controlling all the wealth and power over the vast majority of the world. The social media in our times further amplifies this gap, by glamorizing the powerful, to semi god-like, untouchable status – who can do no wrong and because they are bright and shiny, can only do good and are trustworthy.

The last 6 months of vile revelations and accusations has raised fundamental questions on how deep and pervasive this deviant behavior is. What has happened to us? Were we always like this – with a deeply dormant primal behavior, wired in our DNA? That would make us all alike, which is not the case. Clearly, this behavior is not dormant, but very active, for a sub-set of the population. We have the Oppressors and we have the Oppressed. The Oppressors are always folks in ‘power positions’ while the Oppressed are in a category who feel powerless and weak to oppose. (Review my earlier blog “Power Corrupts….”) The Oppressors are like everyone else, except that their power positions make them believe that they can do whatever they want, because THEY CAN…. They are morally bankrupt, right and wrong ceases to restrict their controlling behavior. It is almost as if the deviant dormant behavior surges out into the open and anything becomes ‘right’ and normalized in their disturbed minds – often because the Oppressed feel so emotionally weak and indebted that they do not even object. The Oppressed are metaphorically speaking, in shackles and on their knees in front of their powerful master. Every such interaction/experience leaves the Oppressor more self-confident and righteous and the Oppressed (who are aware, that wrong has been done) confused, with a loss of self-esteem. The Oppressed feel responsible in some crazy way, for what happened and the Oppressor rises one additional notch in their self-view, totally disregarding and discounting anything that they have done.

I guess this is where the fundamental difference surfaces – between Men and Women. For centuries, since time began…. Men have always been dominant while women have been subservient. This is traced back in every society, culture, religion – everywhere in the world. Men in power, are clearly more dominant than the other men are, and seem to believe have earned the right to oppress – everyone, men and women alike. Unfortunately, the oppressed women withstand the worst of this inhuman behavior.

Fast forward from the BC / AD timeframe to present day. Look around you. On the surface, society prides itself in being more open, with equal rights for all. The law of the land (well, most lands..) fully protects everyone and we can rest assured that we can feel safe. HOWEVER, nothing has really changed. What has changed, is that the number of Men indulging in this despicable behavior has reduced – survival of the fittest/worst among us —  who are so powerful, that they can get away with murder (as one such famous/powerful person elicited last year…). With the latest uproar and exposure going on…. The message form Women is “Enough is Enough”.

So, what do we do? First, ensure that you as parents – never ever demonstrate this behavior in the home, even during domestic disorders. Demonstrate by exemplary behavior how you treat each other with respect and caring. Men may be stronger than women may be – but they are equals in marriage. Demonstrate right and wrong by example and the norm of “do unto others, as you want them to do unto you”   Second, talk about this unacceptable behavior with your children – both young boys and girls.  Unequivocally, tell your Young boys, that as they become young Men, being an Oppressor is totally unacceptable.  Similarly encourage your young girls to speak out and confront any situations that may make them feel Oppressed. Be their friends – so they are comfortable to come and talk to you, right away. If this is pushed down into their psyche as – “I am ashamed and I cannot talk about this”… it will forever affect their self-esteem and confidence. Middle school is a good time to inculcate strong right vs wrong values. Pushing stuff under the proverbial carpet, often creates a set of lumps – which can only trip you unexpectedly.

This is the ONLY scalable, grass-root response to eliminate all these multi-headed monsters, lurking in the shadows. For the Oppressed – remember that although the Oppressors are powerful, they are essentially cowards and bullies. Confronting them right away, often works. By nature they discount completely their unacceptable behavior – so calling it out as it occurs, oftentimes breaks their stupor, allowing one to change the behavior.

Therefore, while we despair… we cannot give up hope. In the words of Mahatma Gandhiji – “When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love, have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of this always, when you despair”

Sharing Gandhiji’s perspective, I would add…. Karma always applies to all in a universal way. There is no escape from this. Look at the various invincible powerful Men, now eliminated from society over the last few months – just because the Oppressed “Davids” have felt comfortable to go up against their powerful “Goliaths”. What goes around comes around, and there is always a price to pay, here or thereafter.