I have been mentoring for some time, as a calling. I firmly believe that knowledge gained through experience (the graying of the temple region of the head and/or, the reduction of the hair foliage density on your head 😊) – should be treated like open-source Software and must be freely/unconditionally shared with the next generation. It is only recently I opted to be a mentor in a program for mentees, starting their first professional jobs – to help shine some light on the dark, unknown road ahead of them.

 I started thinking about the Mentor-Mentee relationship and realized that in the Indian culture, a similar tradition (or ‘parampara’ – in Hindi) although, more advanced has been the modus operandi for over a thousand plus years ago, while western civilizations were still evolving. This was referred to as the “Guru-Shishya Parampara” and the only structured method of the transference of knowledge/skills to the next generation. The Shishya (often referred to as disciple) in this case at a young age, starts spending most of his waking hours in the proximity of (near to) the Guru and listens to every pearl of wisdom that is uttered by his teacher. This truly was a teacher-student relationship – in the days when there was no formal teaching, no teachers, and schools etc. The Shishya has immense respect for the Guru – not based on his age, but on his knowledge. Eventually the Shishya masters the Guru’s knowledge base and is ready to leave their Guru, although they forever remain his Chela (or follower). One day, they too will become a Guru, for the next generation and transfer their knowledge, along with new learnings acquired. Of course, as society and technology evolved, this excellent parampara has disappeared and is now replaced with our educational systems – where the ‘respect’ component has been replaced, with the ‘more important’ scores and grades. Education has been commercialized, versus the nurturing transference of the age-old parampara.  There is no longer any Guru left, to oversee if the Shishya is “ready” to fly on their own. Having the right scores/grades just means that the quantitative requirements have been met. To fly on their own, there are a ton of qualitative skills, which unfortunately may not have been taught to the student as they graduate. Readiness to go forth into the obstacle-filled world is not a requirement, as long as the students meet graduation criteria.

Given my above observation, the need for Mentor-Mentee relationships has become ultra-critical in the present times. Imagine, someone has just graduated from one of the present-day educational systems and is thrust into the work environment – pretty much on their own. With no back-up ‘Guru-Chela’ relationship to rely on, they must primarily depend only on themselves. Ensuring that new job entrants at any work environment are provided with ‘experienced’ go-to resources and guidance for questions they will have – is a win-win situation for all. We want our new first-time employees, to be productive and operational as soon as possible.

In principle, the Guru-Shishya and Mentor-Mentee have a lot in common, but the differences far exceed the similarities.

The core idea is similar – to assist the next generation starting at the grassroots. Over time, they flourish into a lush green lawn and grow with an abandon of independence. But here the similarities end. While the ‘Guru-Shishya’ relationship is lifelong and all enduring, the Mentor-Mentee one is generally short-term and transactional and seems to be in-sync with our fast-paced environment. Unlike the ‘Guru-Shishya’ relationship, in the Mentor-Mentee case, there is no bulk knowledge transfer; rather it is listening and providing guidance at cross-roads on next steps to help the Mentee navigate. Mentor-Mentee is like an on-demand, on-off interaction. The key point is that the Mentee has a ‘go-to’ contact whom he respects and trusts (like a Guru) when confronted with obstacles

My belief is that once someone agrees to be a Mentor, it should be for a longer duration and not a flash in the pan occurrence. In a ‘Guru-Shishya’ case, we have more of a situation where the Guru will operate from a ‘Parent Ego’ state and in a controlling and nurturing manner ensure that his Shishya is TAUGHT what he knows and helps create a strong foundation of values and beliefs for them to build on. Unlike the ‘Guru-Shishya’ case, Mentor-Mentee relationships are more ‘problem solving’ and guidance, than general bulk knowledge transfer. Hence, I expect anyone at any stage of their career, seek out a Mentor when at a crossroad in their lives. In my experience I have dealt with colleagues at all levels, who have approached me for my perspective/help.

I also believe that just as a Shishya seeks out a Guru to follow – a Mentee should pick and choose a Mentor, based on respect for the individual and a true desire to emulate some of the Mentor’s achievements. As in the ‘Guru-Shishya’ case, the Mentor-Mentee relationship needs to extend over a longer period, with strong inter-personal bonds.

Another parampara (tradition) of the ‘Guru-Shishya’ paradigm is the concept of Guru-Dakshina (gift for your Guru/Teacher). The Guru was not a tenured professor (as in today’s times) and clearly performed his tasks as a moral obligation to society. He had to survive and support himself and his family. “Guru-Dakshina refers to the tradition of repaying one’s teacher or Guru after a period of study or the completion of formal education, or an acknowledgment to a spiritual guide”. (Quoted from Wikipedia). As this study period typically extended over multiple years, the Guru-Dakshina was more meaningful and even necessary for the parampara to flourish. Although clearly, this does not apply to our truncated Mentor-Mentee relationship – the spirit of the gesture is important. This could be in the form of Mentee feedback as to how they have benefited with the guidance received, etc.

I would encourage all my experienced and graying, work colleagues to start ‘mentoring’ and giving back – if you do not do so, already. I find it most fulfilling and satisfying – and I assure you that, so will you 😊