Father’s Day and Mother’s Day are probably among the most awaited celebrations by kids as well as their parents. At this time of the year, kids are figuring out what gift to get for their parents. It may become ‘stressful’ as the set of gifts is finite and bounded.

It is a time of emotional joy and bonding of the family structure. Although I believe that such a joyful time should be present “all the time” and not for 1 out of 365 days in a year. The family unit is a permanent entity and we do not need an annual calendar day to remind us to celebrate our parents; and for the kids to celebrate us, as parents.

Fathers will remember when their spouses took care of the gifts when their children were still too young to understand this annual event. As the children grow up, they become more involved in the event, and this tradition continues well into the adult children, when Dads may have already become Granddads. Over time, unfortunately for some kids (clearly not all) – this becomes more of a ritual – than a day of celebration of their dads.

Over the first 10-15 years, the family unit is tight and very close as the children grow up. Over the next 10-15 years, the bonds seem to weaken and the family unit ‘loosens up’ – as children grow older and move on to pursue their own lives and personal goals. I believe it is important for all fathers to re-assess their relationships with their children, particularly as they go beyond their teens, to young adults and become parents themselves.

Fathers, besides looking forward to their gift bags and surprises, should invest time (at least once a year) in their children. Review and re-assess the parent-children relationships in your family. I am not suggesting just a once-a-year frequency to do this. If this soul-searching is absent in your life, then once a year is better than nothing. Believe me, expect the relationships to change, and the bonds to become weaker and more distant. It is nobody’s fault that this happens. This is how families evolve and relationships mature, some becoming stronger, while some get weaker.

An effort needs to be made by all fathers to ensure that the day does not end with just opening gifts, having a lunch/dinner celebration, and turning the page/closing the book; to reopen it next year. This particularly applies to fathers as in most cases, the maternal instinct of the mothers ensures that their bonds are stronger, although at times invisible.

Also remember your fathers who may have already crossed over, and rest in peace in another dimension. Surely, no gifts are involved here. Your memories should still be fresh and vibrant as you ruminate about your younger days with your father. Share these memories on this day with your children and keep the flame alive. Go through old photograph albums (I have a boatload of these), from the good old days….

Wishing all my friends a very HAPPY FATHER’S DAY…..and many more to come (Ameen)