I came across the following NEWS story, and I was struck by the raw honesty of the regrets that may have come too late in the lives of these patients at the sunset, of their lives. We live every day of our lives, procrastinating on everything we should do NOW– for ourselves vs. living for everyone else.

QUOTE:

The following are the 5 most common deathbed regrets, according to a palliative care nurse – Bronnie Ware, who spent a significant part of her nursing career working with the dying and elderly

1. ‘I wish I hadn’t dedicated so much of my life to working so hard.’

2. ‘I wish I’d lived my life the way I wanted, not how others expected me to behave.’

3. ‘I regret losing touch with so many of my friends’.

4. ‘I wish I’d been brave enough to express my feelings more’.

5. ‘I wish I’d let myself be happier’.

UNQUOTE

I am as guilty as most everyone – and do not pretend that I will not have any of the above regrets. Privileged few have managed their work-life balance to eliminate/mitigate some of the above regrets. In the bigger picture, such folks probably have led more fulfilling lives than the rest of us –who were often, driven by the pot at the end of the rainbow.

Unfortunately, the majority of us are conditioned growing up to focus on achievements, and some of the above regrets result from early childhood learnings, defining our adult lives. I have also seen multiple instances where during the (teenage à adult) transition years, significant changes occur. Young adults discard parental direction and chart their own future life course. This path should be encouraged and nurtured along with the right caring guidance vs. judgement-based, must-follow dictums. Early involvement with teens on (#2) and (#4) above, may result in lesser regrets for (#1) and (#5) in the future.

Hindsight is always a crisp 20-20. Regrets like the ones listed above need early intervention in your life to ensure they never arise later when it is too late. Once someone has reached a point where they have an estimated “expiry date” attached to them – it is like water under the bridge…. The time to make changes has long gone past, and all you can do is ruminate about your past, on what you should or could have done.

Remember – you have the option to control your life in the present to ensure that when you are in the future time, you have NO REGRETS or, at least minimal regrets about the way you have lived your past life.

I have been working way past my retirement age, focused on what was expected of me. I still selectively consult for limited days (to maintain my sanity). I have attempted to ensure that I make life changes to mitigate some of the regrets listed above, while time may still be on my side. Unfortunately, no one can say with certainty that they will have the time to catch up later, in the future.

Depending on what life stage you are in – it is never too late to try to review the regrets listed above for yourself. I maintain that (#2) and (#4) are life-impacting in a significant way and should be mitigated as early as you can. Eliminate/Manage these 2 regrets in your life and you will level off, a lot of the future turbulence/storms in your life.

If you can live your life (professionally and personally) the way you want to and, have overcome the barriers that prevent most people from openly expressing their beliefs; personal happiness and satisfaction will follow. Work-life balance will become second nature and (#1) will never be an issue for regret. Being comfortable in expressing your beliefs (objectively, without confrontation) will bring a quietness in your life and make you happier.

The one regret that I still cannot fix is (#3). During my 11 years of schooling and 5 years at IIT-KGP – over my 16+ growing-up years – I had (notice the past tense) made some strong friendships with whom I had shared my joys and travails of growing up. Unfortunately, I got so immersed in the first 10 years of my young adult life – with my new family and work – that I kept on focusing on the future, at the cost of valuable past relationships. I cannot do much about this regret now and would encourage folks in their early life stages to review this and stay connected with life-long friends.

If you are on your last professional career lap, it is also not too late to take the right actions to eliminate at least some of the above regrets. Work will never stop; YOU have to. The sun will always rise every day and set when it is time. You are in control of your own TIME. It is up to you to decide when to slow-down and identify your off-ramp to leave the rat race we are running in all our lives. You may be concerned about your importance and contribution at work, and the impact of your absence. Believe me, life goes on. No one is indispensable.

Review your personal financial situation and take your off-ramp, sooner than later. You will realize (as I did) that there is a more fulfilling life beyond work. Ensure that you have no regrets later on, and focus on yourself and everything you have always wanted to do, but never had the time/resolve to do them.

I enjoy my new-found freedom with my family; I read a lot, publish my “Life Experiences to Share” blog posts regularly, and complete 1-2 oil canvas paintings every month – while still finding time to travel and having fun with my karaoke old-is-gold Indian music. And so can you….. Once you decide it is your time to do so.