I recently viewed a 60 minutes show on CBS titled Healing Legacy – which is a 2-week retreat, run for the last 20+ years by a victim of rape (Jennifer Thompson) – for victims and exonerees (Individuals who have been wrongly accused and convicted of a heinous crime and later officially cleared of that crime, after serving most of the sentence). A must-watch show, of how completely ‘broken individuals’ (victims and exonerees) can be healed and made whole again, despite what they have been through. During the show, I heard the mention of Kintsugi, for the first time and was impacted by what it meant, and how it can be put to good use for all of us.

Let us understand the meaning of Kintsugi.

QUOTE:

As per Wikipedia, Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, symbolizes resilience, embracing imperfection, and finding beauty in flaws. It represents the idea that an object, like a person, can be even more beautiful and valuable after experiencing damage and undergoing repair. Kintsugi also embodies the philosophies of wabi-sabi, which finds beauty in imperfection and the ordinary.

UNQUOTE

Everyone will ‘break’ (often times, induced by external, uncontrollable conditions) at some point in their lives, and needs to be restored. Who says something broken, however well put together, will always be flawed, deficient, and weak? Or, that it is inferior compared to its original state. Someone who has stumbled/fallen while running a race might lose this one, but will probably run further than others and win more in the long run.

Recognizing, or accepting that we have been hurt to the extent of being ‘broken’ is the first step towards restoration. Often, close family/friends notice this condition before the impacted individual is aware of it. We must help our friends recognize, accept the issue, and deal with it to heal and move on. Most of us are ‘fragile’ and easily broken by conditions in our lives, often not caused by us. Sometimes, we may break ourselves too with our actions.

Imagine a beautiful piece of prized pottery, slipping and breaking into pieces. Kintsugi is all about putting these pieces painstakingly together and concealing the fault lines with gold paint to beautify them and make it more valuable. Similarly, anyone may have the misfortune of slipping in the complex lives we live in, and breaking internally into pieces like pottery. Most of us may be unaware of the grief and pain of the affected person, although I’d expect close family/friends should sense these changes. Just as the prize pottery cannot put itself together, so also your ‘broken friend’ needs your unconditional support to repair the damage, your help in being put together and becoming whole and beautiful again.

Once healed, knowing our weak spots actually makes one stronger. I believe that such an individual is stronger than others, as the breakage and healing are now a part of their personal experiences and growth. Once burned, twice shy. Kintsugi may sound like a foreign word, but we need to embrace it in our lives, to spread happiness and be whole again.