As we grow up and transition from childhood to puberty to young adults – our early experiences will shape to a large extent how we balance our life, during our adult lives.

As a child, our every need is taken care of and we are pretty much living our life, as if there is no tomorrow. We are devoid of any desires other than, having fun and finding ways to enjoy ourselves. The see-saw of balance is totally on the life side, as we have no responsibilities. Over this phase, unknowingly, we watch and learn from the adults around us – how they balance their lives. To some extent, this already wires us to our future adult behavior when we are faced with typical work-life balance issues. Some of us turnout to be workaholics, while some manage a symbiotic balance in their lives, just as others refuse to grow up.

As children progress through school and reach their high school phase (puberty) the see-saw balance starts getting loaded on the other side with school work and the constant need (push from parents, peer pressures, etc.) to excel in their school grades to assure admission at the right schools of higher learning. This is a critical phase during which, as parents you are responsible for inculcating the right habits in your children. Work and play are both integral to a well-rounded person – and it is OK to have lots of fun, as long as the school work is getting done. Awareness of the need for such a balance becomes a new learning lesson.

Young adults and high school, stresses this Work-Life balance to the fullest. The pressure from parents to achieve scholastic and sports related goals, along with their desire to have ‘growing-up’ fun collides at epic levels. The work-life balance framework, for their adult life is loosely developing during this phase, and there is constant struggle of instant gratification needs balance by longer term goals.

Everything changes completely, as we evolve to working adults. This is our longest continuous time period, when work-life balance needs, is on the forefront of our time and personal life management. You are probably around 25 years old as you start this phase, and suddenly reality sets in – you are sort of on your own. Most of us evolve from 1 to many and we now have other responsibilities that take center stage. Refer my earlier blog titled ‘Live Your Life’ where I have focused entirely on the need to learn to live. The need to tilt the balance towards Work at the detriment of Life is universal, although I believe in the United States, we seem to be overly consumed by work priorities. It does not help, when the US ranks way at the bottom – 134 out of 146 countries surveyed for ‘total PTO time’ available to full-time employees. There is no statutory law in the US for PTO time… hence all private and public employers make their own rules, to the detriment of their employees.

For the majority of us there is also the constant pressure of the insecure job market, the demanding pressures of putting in 60 hour work-weeks, staying behind beyond normal working hours and constantly watching over your shoulder. So even if you are aware of the imbalance in your life and feel guilty about missing your little one’s soccer and softball games – you know the spirit is willing but the body is weak. If you are in such a spot…. Look for the little ways you can gain your balance – even if it is for brief times. The good feelings you will acquire as you are in balance, will tide you over the times of total imbalance.

A very small %age amongst us, has evolved to the level (with conscious effort) to focus on life needs, even if it means moving upwards slowly in our professional work careers. Take a moment to assess your achievements. Remember the sky is the limit and enough is always viewed as ‘not enough’. Have I earned and saved enough at some point, so I may be able to take care of myself and my loved ones, during my Sunset years? Be honest….. trade-off spending more time with your family, versus taking that job offer which will consume your evenings and weekends, making someone else far richer than yourself. Be aware that often times we may not have the luxury of the tomorrow, sometimes in the future, when we will try to re-balance our lives. I have seen examples of work colleagues who have made major life changes, to recover the balance they had lost — and are far happier and are living life on their terms.

Remember a balanced work-life style will not happen, unless you make the effort to make it happen. The choice is yours….