And, don’t let anyone else define YOU. No one can ever know YOU, better than yourself.

Just as in any business it is routine to do a SWOT (Strengths/Weaknesses/Opportunities/Threats) analysis to determine market positioning and business strategies – so also, you alone can determine your personal SWOT analysis data. You alone get to decide what is good/not-so-good/bad for YOU, how you may choose to live your life, and determine your own destiny. Your S and W are known only to you. Objectively assess and be aware of them, so you may know YOUR true self/abilities along with your limitations. The O and T are environmental and can change over time. You must also consider them along with your S and W, before making any life-changing decision.

I am not in any way proposing that you do not listen to the advice and inputs from well-meaning family, friends and colleagues. Key words are “listen” and “well-meaning”. Clearly listen with an open mind, as these are well-meaning folks who care about you. After listening, go with your guts as only YOU know what your passion is, and how you see your future unfurl ahead of you. Most well-meaning folks who attempt to steer you down a path do so, as they care about you – but, it is from their perspective and not yours. They may not understand your S and W. They are only going by the environmental O and T, which they are aware of. So, it is OK to disregard them sometimes; particularly when you feel very passionate and are convinced about certain goals.

All through our childhood and teenage years, authority figures (parents, uncles/aunts, teachers, coaches, etc.) are constantly telling us, for example –

– Do this, don’t do that                  

– Study hard, or else you will fail in life

– You can never achieve that goal (one you may have set for yourself)

– You are not as good as someone else (comparing you with others)

– Don’t aim for the sky, be realistic

– Without a good college degree, you cannot succeed

Very few authority figures, attempt to assess you, before helping you with guidance/advice – i.e. they often do so, without understanding YOU or what you desire/dislike/fear, etc. Everyone is different and one size (guidance) CANNOT fit all. Just because someone else has been successful on Path-A, everyone should not go down Path-A and expect to have similar success. Parent figures MUST work with the real YOU, to help you be successful. Woodwork needs a carpenter, metal needs a metalsmith; wiring/electricity needs an electrician, etc. YOU are unique and need a tailor-made suit vs. an off-the-shelf one. Often, they want to mold YOU in their image or how they see the world, with total disregard for what YOU are made of, and what you may want to become.

In the same breath, I must add that you are also responsible for YOURSELF and must be very clear about your S and W, at the risk of lowering the bar a bit. The worst thing that can happen is, that one has a gross overestimation of their S and an underestimation of their W. In that case, you really do not know YOU, at all. If one of your authority figures is advising you otherwise, do listen to them and course-correct to fit within your S and W parameters. Else, as the saying goes – you must lie in the bed you make. You own your decisions, and your life as it unfolds ahead of you.

If you are someone with a fire in your belly, passionate about your goals, and clear-minded about your S and W – let your fire light the way on your life journey. There will be ups and downs; life is not a monotonic function. Stay focused and never stop believing in yourself. After all, only you know YOU best.